Final Curtain
by Goddess Isa
Summary: Cordelia makes a decision ten years from now. **CHARACTER DEATH**


TITLE: Final Curtain  
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa  
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com  
SUMMARY: Cordelia makes a decision ten years from now. **CHARACTER DEATH**  
SPOILER: Lover's Walk, Graduation Day, City Of, Hero  
DISTRIBUTION: Sandee, of course - My site - http://planetslaythis.homestead.com - Crystal and Butterfly if they want it - A Soul's Redemption - Anyone else - sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)  
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P  
RATING: TV-14   
DISCLAIMER: Asshole Joss owns all. Stupid bastard that he is.   
  
  
  
It's been ten years.   
  
It's been ten years since I left Sunnydale, and for the exception of a few short but wonderful months, I've spent all this time sleeping with slimy men, making crappy made-for-TV movies and finally, getting a series on the WB.   
  
I've got everything I've always said I wanted. The beautiful home, the awards on my wall, the reporters flying above my house.   
  
The huge staff waiting on me hand and foot, the purple limousine, the money coming out my ears.   
  
And it's not enough.   
  
The two things I wanted more than anything on this Earth, I lost.   
  
The first came in the fall of 1998. I was so excited! A baby!! Xander and I had only been together once, but it was enough. At first I was furious at myself for being so careless, but then I realized that I wanted to have the child. It obviously wouldn't have been easy, but hey, we were graduating. We could've worked it out. Xander and I could've gotten a place and somehow, we would've made it. I know we would've.   
  
And then before I could even tell him, I fell at the damned factory.   
  
I used to blame Oz, because something inside me wouldn't let me wholly blame the baby's father. I said that if Oz hadn't smelt Willow in trouble, we never would've gone to the factor. The thing is, nothing can change what happened, and I had to just get over it.   
  
So I tried flirting with Wesley and when that wound up being as interesting as watching paint dry, I said, hey, why not move? Los Angeles is cool and I can be an actress.   
  
Or I thought I could. The first few months were hard, and having to go to work for Angel made it harder.   
  
And then there was Doyle. I fell for him without even realizing it, and before I could stop myself and make myself realize what was going on, he was gone.   
  
Poof, just like that.   
  
Just like the baby.   
  
Everytime I figure out what I want, it's too late to have it.   
  
So after that, I threw myself into my acting. I took class after class and busted my ass to get where I am.   
  
And I'm miserable.   
  
I was looking through the paper yesterday and I saw an article about Xander's latest book. Oh, I didn't mention him? I guess that's because he's a famous author and is married to Anya. They've got two kids, William (take a lucky guess where they got *that* name) and Anne-Elisa. I actually like their daughter's name, but I haven't seen Xander in over ten years so I'll never get to tell him.   
  
Everyone's got a life but me. A *real* life.   
  
Buffy finally succumbed to her sexual desires and Angel finally gave up his pride. They've been married I can't even remember how long and have a daughter, Faith. I always have joked that they'll have another named Joy, then Charity, Hope, Love, you could go on and on.   
  
Giles married some woman he knew named Olivia and they have a little boy. I forget his name but Giles is letting him be a musician. What a site that must be.   
  
Oz and Willow still live together. With Tara. I'll never figure them out and I refuse to even try.   
  
And then there's me.   
  
All alone, no family, no friends, no nothing.   
  
And so, this is it.   
  
My swan song, almost.   
  
I've wanted this part my entire life, and now I have it.   
  
Cordelia closed her journal and fasted the leather strap just like in the movie. She suddenly felt peculiar, as if she really were playing a part and not doing something of her own free will. She left the letter with Angel's name on top of the journal and put it on her bed.   
  
She went to her huge closet and pulled out her favorite outfit, a made-to-fit corset from Trashy Lingerie.   
  
After that came the black designer jacket and pants, and the Steve Madden heels. She completed her look by cutting her hair off to her shoulders and putting on a plum lipstick. She smiled, content with her appearance, and left for the playhouse.   
  
  
*****   
  
  
It was dark, of course. Dangerous Liaisons wasn't opening for another week and the cast had the night off to relax before strict dress rehearsals began.  
  
Cordelia turned the main stage lights on and walked onto the stage, feeling alive. She walked around a few times, loving the entire experience of being up on stage in a huge playhouse.   
  
She pretended to make eye contact with the audience, and then she began.   
  
Her lines switched from that of Dangerous Liaisons to Cruel Intentions and back. When she finished, she was all Kathryn.   
  
"Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine twenty-four-seven to be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia Fucking Brady of the Upper East Side and sometimes, I wanna kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis Dr. Freud."   
  
She smiled at herself, pleased with her performance. Then she ran off-stage and climbed up to the balcony set up for a few various scenes between Sebastian and Annette.   
  
She smiled as she walked to the center of it. Then she took a deep breath and lifted one foot over the railing.   
  
Her high-heeled shoe barely fit on the gate as she pulled her other foot over so that she was almost sitting on the edge.   
  
Slowly, she tried to stand up. She whispered 'I love you' to someone without a name, and fell to her death.  



End file.
